I - like you - was born with responsibility. An obligation to the self that when pursued creates meaning and purpose. For decades I was unappreciative of my life. Complaining and blaming, demanding and greedy, ignorant of the wealth I already had just by being alive. My choices were based on the promise of merit displayed in academic and monetary results. While degrees of empty knowledge hung on my wall and minimum wages filled my bank account, I never once considered the responsibility I played in the role of my life. I ignored living conditions that questioned my self worth, and employment that left my intellect for dead.
Decades would pass and failures would mound before I would acquiesce to my own undoing, but what I discovered while trolling the bottom was me. I was the only constant in all my decisions and circumstances. Now I sit with me by my side, asking the hard questions and accepting the responsibility of the inevitable answers that all point to me.
Responsibility is a universal solvent. Every time I take it, life flows. I'm not here to convince you to take responsibility, but then, I am not living my life for you. My life is not your fault or your responsibility. It's mine. And this solves everything. Up to this point, I had completely ignored the only job I have ever had - to care for this self.
But I cannot care for something I do not know. So, I will not here sit here today and say I have all the answers, but rather that this pursuit is the constant evolution of answers. And although my missteps fill volumes - responsibility for them - gives my life meaning. Traversing, searching, and rambling on this path of existence, I find solace in the liability - a debt that only I can pay. While this may fall on deaf ears, I must stipulate that I do this for me not for you. Because you aren't the problem.You've never been the problem. And you'll never be the problem. My life is an incomparable gift that must be lived by me, through me, for me til death do us part. Namaste, Karen
