Yes, in anyone else's world I have already failed. But this is my world, and here I am a champion. I remembered yesterday afternoon that I needed to post. I had written all morning, then removed the literally just-laid-last-month deck boards, and installed the new 400 pound milled planks for the deck extension - and promptly forgot the blog post. As I lay in bed after a full day of working outside on the lanscape, painting, and ruminating around my inner depths, I wrote this post. An idea swam around that I could get up and post the post right now and still make the "daily for 45 days" quota. But I have a strict rule of staying in bed once there....but since I make the rules, I can break them. Of course, who am I kidding - I'll break anyone's rule - not just mine. I got up, grabbed my notebook and flashlight, wrote some notes, then laid down.
What does this have to do with being less-than-stellar in someone else's story? Everything. I became less-than-stellar in my own story. My I learn from this detrimental perspective. In my world, I can type what I want, but what is mine must be cared for responsibly. That means not placing myself in precarious positions. Do not make me the a-hole in my own story. That I am difficult or hard to get along with is not an identity I grab for first thing in the morning. This does not mean the identity does not come round to visit to remind me of my humanness. I thought I had tucked that "thing" into a box for goodwill decades ago...but here we sit, me and "you," side by side.
Somewhere, someone is hating on me hard. This realization needs to happen for this existence to come full circle. My job is not to be liked, but to like being. And the label of a-hole is a reminder to enjoy the variation in humanity - the show. This beauty of difference exposes the essence of sameness, the collective consciousness of being one.
As I sit with all my characters, I wonder how I have ever managed to get through life without being shot. A miracle really. That alone brings such appreciation to my life, tears of gratitude flow. Geezus, life just doesn't get any better than this. Bring on the show.
